Target, TJ-Maxx and Trader Joes aka The Triple T's

Can we talk about something really quick? I had a realization. ALL I DO IS ONLINE SHOP and not only that..but I will only exert energy and physically go to shop at three places, which brings me to the whole point of writing this on such a whim: THE TRIPLE T'S aka triple threat---> 
TARGET, TJ-MAXX AND TRADER JOES.

Everyone knows it's officially game over when you step into Target. You've seen the memes. You go for milk and end up with a swimsuit just because it was 60% off, yeah it's December but CLEARANCE. You also end up with 48 things from the Holiday section because it's December, remember? Gosh. AND WRAPPING PAPER - let's not even go there. Freaking flamingos, cacti and unicorns, Oh My! Oh, and you can't forget the Starbucks you just had to have because shopping at Target is so financially mentally exhausting. You should've definitely aborted mission while you still had the chance, because now...now you're in deep. There's no turning back. You look down at the cart (not basket, we're no amateur here) and question your existence for a second while repeating,"Why am I like this" three times fast. 
After Target we obviously we go to TJ MAXX. Duh, because what's torture without completely beheading yourself? So, you prance in there like the fucking reindeer you just picked up at Target to hang on the tree you don't even have up yet *Well, shit* and hit up the usual--->Handbags, which basically hit you in the face when you walk in there (Nice marketing, TJ). Make-Up and beauty products next, obviously, because who can turn down REAL TECHNIQUES BRUSHES FOR $7.99??? Not this girl. After beauty, it's a straight shot to the shoes(another one for the merchandising team of TJ)so I mean let's just peek to see what's new, not like go to your size section YET. I mean c'mon, give yourself a little credit here, you're not an uncontrollable wildebeest. Phew okay, made it past the shoes *pats self on back*. Home decor, oh here we go, into the black hole of no return. The walls start caving in and all you see is aisles and aisles of SHIT YOU NEED and everything has a weird glow around it. That's when you know you need to go home. Grab the dog toy and go home. Just when you make it past all the sweaters (after strategically analyzing each one of course), there's the checkout line. You almost made it, keep trucking. Do not make eye contact with any of the beauty products, mugs, socks, books, fucking k-cups-NOTHING. Just stand there and appreciate the wonderful smell OF CANDLES. Oh my gosh, $4. You're coming home with me. Shit, is that a coffee mug that says Bitch Juice? Okay, like what's $2.99 for a mug you will use all the time? Coffee is like a member of the family at this point and he wants new clothes. Okay, pull yourself together here...
"I CAN TAKE YOU RIGHT HERE MA'AM". Shit, he's talking to me, which you totally didn't even realize because it's hell and you're on fire. Like really fucking hot all of the sudden. WHY IS IT SO HOT IN HERE? I'm convinced it's because they want you to buy a drink in the line,which you kinda need because walking away from those succulents was v hard. Maybe it's because the amount of time and money spent is about to really hit you. "Your total is $76." Yikes! This is when you become self-aware of the destructive path you're currently living and walk out with your head down while screaming at yourself YOU HAD ONE JOB, to get a dog toy. Maaajor fail, and you still have to walk over to Trader Joe's (yep, you read that right, two torture chambers in one shopping center) to get the essentials-Chocolate chip cookies and wine. Damn, adulthood is fun. So, here we go *Smells flowers* because who doesn't love woo-ing over freshly cut flowers? Alright, I'm not sure how your Trader Joe's is set up but after flowers I always buzz over to beauty products then frozen stuff, cheese and meat, then wine. I think I just realized the actual problem at hand, I have shopping patterns and routines routed for each store. WOW, okay anyways. Wine, can we talk about the holy land that is Trader Joe's wine section for a sec? My friend introduced me to the $4.99 section and I swear to you my life hasn't been the same since. So really, I blame her *looking at you Jen*. Purple Moon is my personal favorite red blend for $4.99. Definitely not a white wine person, but I've dabbled. My mother is obsessed with some white wine that I can't remember (will update). Also, I've tried a few bottles of rosé that were appealing if you like waking up feeling like you've been in the desert for 37 years, dehydrated and without dignity, and it's a damn good time. 

Sorry for rambling, but my love for the triple t-s is deeply rooted. 

Can anyone else relate?
*Goes to Target*
bYYYEEE